Brian Cox (AKA Logan Roy) FLAMED Some Of His Hollywood Contemporaries In His New Book

Michael Caine

“I wouldn’t describe Michael as my favourite, but he’s Michael Caine. An institution. And being an institution will always beat having range.”

Johnny Depp

“Personable though I’m sure he is, is so overblown, so overrated. I mean, Edward Scissorhands. Let’s face it, if you come on with hands like that and pale, scarred-face make-up, you don’t have to do anything. And he didn’t. And subsequently, he’s done even less.”

Steven Seagal 

“Steven Seagal is as ludicrous in real life as he appears on screen. He radiates a studied serenity, as though he’s on a higher plane to the rest of us, and while he’s certainly on a different plane, no doubt about that, it’s probably not a higher one.”

Quentin Tarantino 

“I find his work meretricious. It’s all surface. Plot mechanics in place of depth. Style where there should be substance. I walked out of Pulp Fiction…That said, if the phone rang, I’d do it.”

David Bowie 

“A skinny kid, and not a particularly good actor. He made a better pop star, that much is for certain.

Ed Norton 

“He’s a nice lad but a bit of a pain in the arse because he fancies himself as a writer-director.”

Isn't it a pure joy when life imitates art? Cox's performance as Logan Roy is so convincing and authentic that I honestly did feel at points that he might just be his actual personality! A cantankerous old man that doesn't give a fuck who he offends. Personally, I love it. Certain people have the gravitas to pull off being a real bastard without being hated by the general public, and I think Brian Cox is one of them. 

There are a couple of things I want to note. The first is that it was a brilliant move by his agent to have this book which is filled with Logan Roy-isms right when the new season of Succession came out. Fantastic work lads! The other thing is that I simply love these roasts because most of them are weirdly polite while still hurtful. Michael Caine has the honor of being an institution, but lacks any range. Tarantino is a surface level director, but Cox would also like to work with him. Bowie was a great pop star, but bad actor. It's funnier how his pure venom was reserved for Johnny Depp and Steven Seagal, two people that everyone agrees are on the same quality of actor. 

Those MAD TV Seagal skits are still hysterical, by the way. 

I would love to see Cox back up those fighting words in a dojo, though. RnR: Melee In Moscow. If Cox wins, Seagal gets exiled from Russia for life. We can get it done, fellas!